They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
