Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
