in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize