I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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