remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
