I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
