in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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