whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Someone came in the potted fern
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize