it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
