Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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