Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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