drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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