some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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