So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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