She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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