His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
