FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize