We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My cat gives me a boner
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
