I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
