You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
