All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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