Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
