So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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