Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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