there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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