He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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