I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
