but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
