hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
