Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize