I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
