i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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