even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
