Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
