So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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