I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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