Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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