Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
