hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
