im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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