Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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