I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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