There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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