shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I need a beard to bite.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
