My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
