My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Randomize
