so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I can't turn off my feet"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
