Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
