Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Mom said you looked used
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
