sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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