Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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