so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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