Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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