Dual....:-)
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
