How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
