Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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