i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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