dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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