can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
