i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
