When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
