Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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