Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
