We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
